Dealing with Your Son or Daughter’s Divorce: Part I

 Posted on July 26, 2014 in Divorce

Learning your adult son or daughter is planning a divorce can be a trying experience. As a parent it is difficult to watch your child go through any difficult time, especially when it feels like there is little you can do to ease your son or daughter's suffering. Additionally, your son or daughter's divorce can impact your life as well. Divorce may raise questions for the parent, such as how holidays will be spent, where the child will live, whether or not a relationship can continue with the ex-spouse, and if the parents will need to support the child financially until the divorce is finalized. Below are some divorce tips for the parents of spouses going through a divorce. In the following, related post, we will information for grandparents dealing with a son or daughter's divorce, and specifically on the topic of grandparent visitation rights.

Listen and Support Your Son or Daughter

Most children appreciate a sympathetic ear from a parent when they are going through a divorce. As you are discussing divorce with your son or daughter, be aware, especially at the beginning, that you may not be privy to all the details of the marital breakup. Instead, try to focus on what your child needs emotionally from your conversations at a given moment and try to provide that type of support for your child, rather than focusing what actually caused the marital breakup.

Know What to Expect About Favor Requests

Many divorces end with one or both former spouses moving back into their parents' house. Sometimes divorcing spouses do this for financial reasons or because they do not have time to find alternative living arrangements. Sometimes divorcing spouses choose to move back into their parents' home primarily for emotional support (though the son or daughter may cite a different reason for the visit). In addition, a divorcing son or daughter may request financial assistance in order to keep up essential bills or rent or mortgage payments.

Be Honest about your Capacity to Accommodate Your Son or Daughter

If you are willing and able to have your son or daughter live with you after divorce, it can take a weight off their shoulders to expressly communicate this to them. If you have any reservations about a potential move-in and wish to set a time limit or request your adult child contribute to living expenses, it may be helpful to do this directly in an upfront but gentle way while explaining your reasons for your request.

If your son or daughter moves back with you and brings a grandchild, try to discuss expectations for child care or babysitting duties up front so either party does not end up feeling overwhelmed or disappointed due to any miscommunicated expectations.

An Attorney's Assistance Can Be Invaluable

If your adult child is going through a divorce, consider suggesting the services of an experienced DuPage County divorce attorney. Talk to your child about desired traits in an attorney and about a price range. At Kathryn L. Harry & Associates, P.C. we listen closely to our clients' needs and work hard to craft a plan for divorce and related proceedings that suits them best. For divorcing spouses on a budget or those not anticipating a contentious divorce, we offer other options such as collaborative law or mediation that may better fit their situations. For more information on our services, contact us today at 630-472-9700.