A recent article in the Huffington Post points out the need for divorced parents to set their own feelings for one another aside following a divorce, and focus on the needs and interests of their children, which involves open communication, consistency, and living up to the terms of your divorce agreement.
While many couples get divorced, those who share minor children still have to co-parent their children in most situations. In other words, you still have to make decisions about where your children go to school, where to get medical care, which activities children should choose, which parent will chauffeur the children where they need to be, who will provide child care if necessary, etc. In the vast majority of cases, you have two parents who still care about what their children are doing on a daily basis, and want to be involved in those decisions, even if they don’t particularly like each other to the point that they have gotten divorced.
The author of this article advises that harboring resentment toward your ex-spouse, even if there is good reason for it, simply does not benefit your children in any way. Rather, she advises that you work out that resentment in therapy, rather than exposing your children to its ill effects. Actions such as trying to control what goes on in the other parent’s home, micromanaging the ex-spouse’s parenting skills, and generally competing with the ex-spouse are tactics for a sports competition, not a family, even a family after divorce.
Likewise, purposely failing to live up to the terms of a divorce agreement, such as quitting your job and withholding child support payments, is not best for your children. When one parent can’t make ends meet because he or she isn’t receiving court-ordered support, his or her stress will negatively impact the children. Not paying your child support doesn’t hurt your ex-spouse; it hurts your kids.
Divorce is a difficult time for all members of a family, and the aftermath of a divorce can be hard, as well. Fortunately, our Naperville divorce attorneys will work with you to create a parenting plan and marital settlement agreement that is truly in the best interest of your children.