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Communication Guidelines During Divorce

Because emotions tend to run high during a divorce, you may find yourself suddenly thrown into a difficult situation when forced to communicate with your spouse. Being prepared with some communication guidelines may make communicating during divorce easier.

 Start by setting boundaries. Of course, divorce is a hard adjustment for everyone, but maintaining a civil conversation when you do need to interact with your soon-to-be former spouse can be beneficial, especially for the children. Children do not need the added stress of watching you square off against their other parent whom they love and respect. Decide early on in the process how you will act  towards each other in front of the children. Laying boundaries before the situation arises is important.

You should consider setting a rule that prohibits either of you from bringing up old fights or points of contention that have to relevance to the issue at hand. If a conversation gets heated too quickly, diffuse the situation by walking away. Especially if your soon-to-be former spouse is good at pushing your buttons, the best thing you can do  is to simply walk away. If you’re exchanging the children for visitation time, for example, and the other parent starts to bait you into a fight, this is a good opportunity to hug the children, tell them you’ll miss them, and leave the scene. Don’t fall into old traps.

Another communication guideline that is often successful with divorcing parents is to reduce your communication to email and texts.  Remember, however, that anything you write may be introduced into evidence at trial or hearing.  Therefore, you should refrain from making admissions about bad parenting decisions, belittling your spouse or using profanity in an email or text.  Stick to simple, straight forward , unambiguous language regarding the children, their activities and the family’s schedule.  And, keep copies of all communications in case they are needed to prove a point or dispute an accusation by the other side.

To learn more about how your communications with your soon-to-be former spouse may affect your legal options, contact the offices of an Illinois divorce attorney today.

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