Posted on September 18, 2014 in Divorce

Every year, the holiday season seems to sneak up sooner. One minute you are in your shorts and flip-flops, and the next you are scrambling to buy that perfect holiday gift. For divorced parents, scheduling family visits in conjunction with their parenting schedules can add another level of frustration.

The key to holiday harmony is working together to develop a productive holiday schedule that accommodates every family member's needs. Parents must communicate with each other and be willing to be flexible about holiday visits. For some families, working with an attorney to develop a holiday schedule as part of their child custody agreement is the best way to ensure that their children spend quality time with both parents and their extended families at future holidays.

Ways to Divide Holidays Between Divorced Parents

Every family has its own unique set of holiday traditions. In some families, the parents might belong to different religions and thus have different holiday obligations and observances. For other families, both parents belong to the same religion, which can create an issue when both want to spend a specific holiday with their child. The following are a few methods that parents can use to effectively create a holiday schedule for their families:

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 Posted on September 16, 2014 in Divorce

The divorce process is never easy. No matter what the circumstances are that lead to a couple's divorce, both partners face significant lifestyle changes when they opt to end their marriage. If a couple has children, the children face life-altering changes as well.

It's crucial that divorcing parents discuss their upcoming divorce with their children. Depending on their ages, the children will have questions, concerns, and emotional reactions to their parents' news. Before you begin this difficult discussion, consider speaking with an experienced family attorney about your concerns.

Guidelines for Discussing Your Divorce With Your Children

Talk about the divorce in plain language and neutral terms. Don't blame your former spouse or anybody else for your divorce, and don't allow yourself to be blamed. If your children blame themselves, assure them that they did not affect your decision to divorce in any way. Remember to stay calm through this discussion and any subsequent discussion of your divorce. Your children are likely feeling a whirlwind of emotions at this time, and they need you to stay strong and provide guidance for them.

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 Posted on September 12, 2014 in Spousal Maintenance

Many women in the workforce today have vastly different perspectives about their role in the family than their mothers and grandmothers had. This is because of society's changing expectations for women and their careers. In prior generations, most married women worked part-time, if at all, while raising children and managing the household. But since the rise of second wave feminism in the 1970s, more and more women seek higher education and full-time careers. In some families, wives earn more money than their husbands and shoulder the majority of the responsibility of supporting the household.

When the traditional structure of male breadwinner/female homemaker is inverted, questions about spousal maintenance can arise if the couple decides to file for divorce. Spousal maintenance, also known as alimony, was created to give the lesser-earning spouse a financial safety net following their divorce. This was almost always the wife, who sacrificed her career by taking less time-consuming positions or opting out of the workforce altogether to devote herself to raising the couple's children. Today, with many husbands taking on this role instead, some are opting to ask for spousal maintenance payments from their former wives during the divorce process.

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 Posted on September 09, 2014 in Child Support

When does adulthood truly begin? Is it when a young man or woman graduates from high school or college? When he or she starts working a full-time job? The day he or she moves out of his or her parents' house? Or is it the young adult's eighteenth or twenty-first birthday? Few people can agree on on clear-cut event in a young adult's life that marks his or her passage from childhood to adulthood. For many divorced parents, though, this is an important question to ask because it signifies the end of their obligation to pay child support.

Emancipation

The legal term for the milestone of no longer being one's parents' financial responsibility is "emancipation." The events that qualify a young man or woman for emancipation vary from state to state. In Illinois, a young adult is considered to be emancipated at age 18 or once he or she finishes high school, whichever comes later.

Sometimes, the court may require a parent to continue making his or her child support payments even after the child has graduated from high school or turned 18. This is usually done to help cover some or all of the young adult's college expenses if he or she chooses to attend college. Unlike some other states, Illinois does not require a parent to help pay for his or her child's higher education. This decision is made on a case-by-case basis.

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 Posted on September 05, 2014 in Divorce

A recent article in Daily Telegraph analyzes what it calls the "poker effect" on divorces. The poker reference refers to the cost-benefit analysis a person conducts when choosing whether or not to fold. Poker players who are winning tend to be more willing to take risks than those who are down to their last few chips. Losing poker players are more likely to fold sooner and get out of the game, taking a minor loss to preserve what little money they have left. According to this theory in the divorce law context, the rising cost of divorce causes the financially weaker party to "fold" and accept an unfair settlement sooner.

Effect of Finances on Early "Folding"

According to one experienced family law practitioner in the United Kingdom, while the divorce process is less drawn out than it once was, the process is arguably less fair. The financially less well-off party, who statistically tends to be the wife, is more likely to accept a settlement that she doesn't believe is fair due to the threat of legal fees. This has become more significant of a problem since legal aid has recently begun to play less of a role in family law cases, forcing divorcing parties to pay more out of pocket to settle divorce-related disputes.

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 Posted on September 03, 2014 in Child Custody

The Soldiers' and Sailors' Civil Relief Act was passed at the start of World War II to provide legal protection to those serving in the military. Congress later passed the Servicemembers' Civil Relief Act (SCRA) in 2003 to update the original legislation in order to better reflect modern times.

SCRA law recognizes that servicemembers, like all other U.S. residents, may become involved in civil conflict or family law, often by filing for divorce or being served divorce papers. However, when legal conflict arises, it is particularly difficult for these servicemembers to protect their legal rights when they are involved in training, deployed on assignment, or otherwise required to focus all of their energies on national defense.

Given these considerations, SCRA requires state and federal court judges or judges in administrative proceedings to grant a "stay of proceedings," or postponement of the civil legal proceedings, until the servicemember becomes available to participate. This ensures the servicemember has an equal opportunity to develop and litigate his or her legal case.

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 Posted on August 29, 2014 in Divorce

Connecting with others through social media platforms may make connections with one's spouse or significant other seem less important. Such online communications with others may make marital communication feel less gratifying or necessary. Alternatively, people may want to reach out socially with their online community if they feel trapped in a relationship that makes them miserable. Either way, as social networking becomes more prevalent, it raises questions regarding how it may relate to the destruction of romantic relationships, and even divorce.

Marital Problems Due to Social Media Use

A recent study published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking linked heavy social media use to marital and relationship problems. According to research performed by a University of Missouri doctoral student, Twitter use can be damaging to the user's romantic relationships.

The researcher, a School of Journalism student, Russell Clayton, polled over 500 Twitter users of various ages asking them questions about their use of the site. Mr. Clayton then asked survey participants how much, if any, conflict arose between the participants' past and former romantic partners regarding the use of Twitter. The researcher found that "the more often a respondent reported being active on Twitter, the more likely they were to experience Twitter-related conflict with their partner, which then significantly predicted negative relationship outcomes such as cheating, breakup, and divorce."

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 Posted on August 26, 2014 in Child Custody

Illinois law requires both parents attempt to resolve child custody issues in mediation sessions before the court will step in to resolve the dispute. Typically, parties are required to attend multiple mediation sessions before they can bring their dispute to court. Mediation is the process by which both parties sit down with a trained neutral party to attempt to resolve a dispute. Mediation sessions can occur between both parents, and with or without attorneys present. The process tends to be informal. In cases in which the parties choose to attend mediation without the assistance of attorneys, the following tips may be helpful for parents to get the most out of these child custody and child support mediation sessions.

Tips for Getting the Most Out of Your Illinois Child Custody Mediation Sessions

• Make a budget: Mediation sessions go more smoothly when the custodial parent knows how much to ask for in child support. This calculation goes beyond merely requesting the amounts provided in Illinois state child support guidelines. Custodial parents can request a more accurate amount of child support when they know and can show evidence for how much they spend on childcare and related expenses. As the custodial parent, it is helpful to make a budget a month or so before the child support mediation and then record how much is actually spent on child care expenses such as transportation costs, insurance premiums, increased housing and utility costs, education costs, tuition and fees, and extra-curricular and recreational expenses.

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 Posted on August 22, 2014 in Child Support

Most Illinois child support orders remain unchanged until the child turns 18 (or in some cases, graduates college) or until one parent petitions the court for a child support modification. It is important to understand what you will undergo during the process of changing a child support order in Illinois.

Why Seek Modification?

The most obvious reason a parent seeks a child support modification is when the non-custodial parent loses a job or changes to a considerably more or less lucrative job. Under Illinois law, a party can seek support order modification any time there is a substantial change in the parties' financial circumstances. Other common reasons for seeking child support modification include:

• Job loss or job change of the custodial parent;
• Increase in child's needs and expenses;
• Changes in availability of health insurance coverage for the child;

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 Posted on August 19, 2014 in Child Custody

As is seen throughout portions of the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, it is a primary goal of Illinois legislature to maximize parent-child bonding time. Throughout the act, the legislature attempted to create laws that incentivize both custodial and non-custodial parents to have a role in their children's life. One of these such provisions is Illinois's "Right of First Refusal" provision.

The Point of the Right of First Refusal

Right of First Refusal was created upon recognition that sometimes during emotional heavy breakups, the interests of the children take a temporary back seat. Though it is desirable for both parents to work together for the well-being of their child, parents do not always meet this standard. Some parents consciously or even unconsciously withhold visitation from the other parent, or try to use time with the child as leverage in divorce proceedings.

The Right of First Refusal aims to circumnavigate strategies for using parent-child bonding time as a leverage point. The right of first refusal applies in cases in which a custodial parent must obtain child care for a child for a significant amount of time. During this time, the custodial parent may be legally required to first ask the non-custodial parent if he or she would be willing to care for the child. A non-custodial parent can protect the Right of First Refusal by having it added into a parenting agreement, divorce decree, visitation schedule, or other legal document.

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