Posted on August 15, 2014 in Divorce

Most couples experience rocky points in their marriages. Such rough patches may be the result of external stressors, such as family or work-related stress, or the underlying reason may actually have to do with the relationship itself. When it becomes clear that the reasons for arguments stem from personal reasons, like dislike or lack of respect, many couples decide it is time to rethink their marriage. Determining the source of marital tension may be crucial in addressing the problem responsibly. How can a person who finds herself experiencing growing marital tension determine whether a marriage is worth keeping?

As summarized in a recent psychology news article, some psychologists theorize that a couple can predict the success of their marriage by examining whether one trait is present during their fights: the trait of contempt. Contempt describes an attitude that something is not worthy of attention or approval. The word comes from a combination of disgust and anger. It can also manifest as a general displeasure or negative attitude toward an object or person. While contempt may be hard to describe, most people know it when they see or feel it. Once feelings of contempt seep into a marriage, the marriage may be become unsalvageable.

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 Posted on August 12, 2014 in Divorce

Parents who find themselves in the non-custodial role following Illinois child custody proceedings may face initial anxiety when their child visitation sessions begin. It is difficult for many parents to transition from spending every day with a child to spending only (for example) a few days of concentrated quality time with the child per month. As such, it is natural for non-custodial parents to feel pressure to make early visitation sessions go almost perfectly.

There is a wealth of information available on various ways to make the most of court-ordered visitation time with your child. Some of our favorite bits of advice can be found below:

Don't overschedule visitation time – Some of the best child bonding moments happen when both parties are relaxed and in a good mood. If a parent spends too much time scheduling and transporting children to activities during the visitation time, parents may find themselves becoming distracted from what matters most during visitation time: having quality bonding time with the child.

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 Posted on August 10, 2014 in Spousal Maintenance

Many U.S. households depend primarily or exclusively on one partner's earnings to meet their financial needs. This commonly occurs in households where one spouse assumes a full-time child care role, or if one spouse is unable to work because of a disability. In cases of these single-earnings households, what happens to the lower or no earning partner after divorce?

Temporary vs. Permanent Alimony

When one spouse voluntarily withdraws from the workforce for child care or other reasons, the higher-earning spouse may agree to provide temporary financial assistance, called alimony or spousal support, until the lower earning spouse is able to secure more lucrative employment. Such terms may be designated in a divorce settlement or an order made by a family law judge following divorce litigation. Terms of an alimony award may include health insurance premiums, a monthly payment to meet living expenses, and a financial contribution towards employment-related training.

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 Posted on August 05, 2014 in Child Support

Suppose you are living with your romantic partner and your shared child for several years. You know for certain that your partner is your child's biological father and you have all been living together in a close-knit family for some time. Eventually, the relationship goes sour and you and your partner choose to break up and live apart. You retain custody of your child. When you ask your former partner for support, he refuses to pay, claiming he is not legally the child's biological father. What sort of legal recourse do you have under Illinois law if you want to get child support?

Illinois law recognizes that each child has a right to emotional and financial support from both parents, regardless of whether the parents decide to marry. However, under Illinois law, paternity must be established before a family law court can order a former romantic partner to pay child support. In Illinois, paternity is established in three ways. It can be established through consent, presumption, or judicial determination.

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 Posted on July 30, 2014 in Family Law

While most commonly used to protect individual financial assets in the event of a divorce, prenuptial agreements can also be used to address and settle other upcoming areas of disagreement that occur during marriage. For example, they may give couples a tool for settling disagreements about where the couple will live and how the couple must care for their own children, or even how to support children from a prior marriage.

Lifestyle Clause as New Addition

A section that is showing up more and more often in prenuptial agreements is the lifestyle clause, a portion of the agreement that sets forth how a couple agrees to live their life together. Lifestyle clauses can set forth how many hours each partner agrees to work each week, how frequently a couple will have intercourse, and whether or not the couple will choose to have or adopt children. Media outlets have referenced more seemingly invasive lifestyle clauses that aim to control how much weight a spouse can gain, how much time a couple will spend with in-laws, and how many nights per week a partner can spend watching football with friends.

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 Posted on July 27, 2014 in Child Custody

In Part I of this series, we discussed general issues that may arise for parents learning to cope with the divorce of their adult son or daughter. We recognize planning a divorce when minor children are involved can be more complicated for all parties. In Part II, we discuss specific concerns that grandparents may face when coping with a son or daughter's divorce.

Discuss Expectations for Holidays and Birthdays

If you want to plan ahead to include your child and grandchild for family gatherings for the holidays, try to make your holiday celebration coincide with your child's parenting time. Ask your son or daughter in advance when he or she expects to be getting the child for the holidays. Be aware that depending upon the child custody agreement, you may need to schedule holiday celebrations a few days or even weeks in advance.

Request Visitation in Court

Obtaining court-ordered grandparent visitation, is possible, but still not especially common in Illinois. Under the current law, a grandparent may request legal visitation rights in the case of a pending divorce if one parent unreasonably denied visitation and the other parent does not object to the visitation request. Grandparents may have a heightened chance of being awarded court-ordered visitation if they have a history of acting as the primary guardian for the grandchild, if they have a particularly close relationship with the grandchild, or if one of the grandchild's parents has been missing from the child's life for a variety of reasons.

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 Posted on July 26, 2014 in Divorce

Learning your adult son or daughter is planning a divorce can be a trying experience. As a parent it is difficult to watch your child go through any difficult time, especially when it feels like there is little you can do to ease your son or daughter's suffering. Additionally, your son or daughter's divorce can impact your life as well. Divorce may raise questions for the parent, such as how holidays will be spent, where the child will live, whether or not a relationship can continue with the ex-spouse, and if the parents will need to support the child financially until the divorce is finalized. Below are some divorce tips for the parents of spouses going through a divorce. In the following, related post, we will information for grandparents dealing with a son or daughter's divorce, and specifically on the topic of grandparent visitation rights.

Listen and Support Your Son or Daughter

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 Posted on July 23, 2014 in Child Custody

Often when we think about child custody agreements after divorce, we focus on what the court's view will be of each parent's relationship with the child. Sometimes the parents' relationships with one another when family law judges try to determine whether shared physical custody will be appropriate. How often though do we think about protecting the relationship of siblings during a divorce process?

In a recent article, a Michigan law professor argued that most states do not do enough to protect the relationships of siblings during divorce and child custody battles. She emphasized the importance of sibling relationships saying:

"The tie between siblings is often the longest lasting relationship that a person ever experiences. Social science research makes clear that strong bonds between brothers and sisters can develop very early in childhood. Many children spend more time with their siblings than with anyone else, and siblings who grow up together accumulate a store of shared memories that can shape each sibling for life."

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 Posted on July 22, 2014 in Divorce

A legal separation agreement allows couples to stay married while resolving most types of issues that commonly occur during the breakdown of a marriage. A private agreement to separate between two married spouses is different from a legal separation. A legal separation and the accompanying legal agreement may be beneficial for couples who need guidance on how to apportion their affairs and property during time apart, but are not yet ready to take the plunge of going through a legal divorce. This legal separation process can also be beneficial for practical or financial reasons, such as when one spouse wants to stay on the other spouse's health insurance plan or when one spouse wants to continue reaping the tax benefits of filing jointly as a married household.

Legal Separation Process

The process of planning for legal separation should be similar to planning for divorce. A married person must file for legal separation in the Circuit Court where she lives or where the couple resided. The filing party must be an Illinois resident for at least six months at the time of the filing. Unlike during Illinois divorce, married couples must be living apart at the time one party files for legal separation. In the court form requesting legal separation, the filing party must attest to the fact that he or she did not cause the marital breakdown. Around the time a party files for separation, both spouses can work with attorneys to draft a legal separation agreement. Once both parties consent to terms of the agreement, the judge will review the document, typically during a hearing. If approved, the judge will authorize it as a legally-binding court order.

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 Posted on July 18, 2014 in Marriage

It is an age-old question many people ask themselves: would I be better off in the long run if I waited a few years to get married? According to a recent study on the topic, the answer may be "it depends." It depends on what an individual wants out of a marriage and who they are in terms of their age, gender, and education levels. Overall, couples tend to be happier in a marriage when they marry early, although couples make more money when they postpone marriage. When they are broken down, the conclusions are a bit more nuanced. Ultimately though, some couples, no matter their age or income levels, may still choose to file for divorce.

Income Effects

According to the article, deciding whether or not to marry at all may have an effect on an individual's income. Men report a 20 percent increase in earnings after marriage. Women, on the other hand, report no change or even a slight decline in earnings. When children come into the picture, there is a consistent financial penalty for married women who have children versus those who don't.

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